Even if they started out at a distance, baby would naturally gravitate toward Martha, their heads facing each other, sort of a breath away. Martha and baby naturally slept on their sides, belly-to-belly facing each other.Specifically, I noticed these special connections: Was it brain waves, motion, or just something mysterious in the air that occurs between two people during nighttime touch? I couldn’t help feeling there was something good and healthful about this arrangement. I truly began to believe that a special connection occurs between the sleep-sharing pair that has to be good for baby. In the early years of sleeping with our babies, I watched the sleep-sharing pair nestled next to me. Accepting and respecting your baby’s needs can help you recognize that you are not spoiling your baby or letting him manipulate you when you welcome him into your bed. Sharing sleep in our culture also requires that you trust your intuition about parenting your individual baby instead of unquestionably accepting the norms of American society. Your infant trusts that you, his parents, will continually be available during the night, as you are during the day. Sharing sleep reflects an attitude of acceptance of your baby as a little person with big needs. Every family goes through nocturnal juggling acts at different stages of children’s development. It is a mindset, one in which parents are flexible enough to shift nighttime parenting styles as circumstances change. Sharing sleep involves more than a decision about where your baby sleeps. An infant and mother sleeping side by side share lots of interactions that are safe and healthy. I prefer the term “sleep-sharing” because, as you will learn, a baby shares more than just bed space. “Bed-sharing” is the term frequently used in medical writings. “Co-sleeping” sounds more like what adults do. Sleeping with your baby has various labels: The earthy term “family bed,” while appealing to many, is a turn-off to parents who imagine a pile of kids squeezed into a small bed with dad and the family dog perched precariously on the mattress edge. Why is this beautiful custom taboo in our society? How could a culture be so educated in other things, yet be so misguided in parenting styles? Co-Sleeping: What to Call It Why should parents have to be so hush-hush about this nighttime parenting practice and made to feel they are doing something strange? Most parents throughout the world sleep with their infants. Other parents would secretly “confess” that they did, too.
In social settings, when the subject of sleep came up, we admitted that we slept with our babies. They just don’t tell their doctors or in-laws about it. At first we thought we were doing something unusual, but we soon discovered that many other parents slept with their babies, too.
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